As a former elementary school teacher, I wished I had read this book before I started teaching. Communication is such an important skill that can either harm or strengthen relationships. I'm only halfway through the book, however have already picked up so many useful tips that I hope to use with E in the future:
- "There is a direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave" (p.1).
- We need to learn how to "hear" our kids and acknowledge their feelings. This doesn't mean that we become permissive parents and agree with everything they feel. They don't need us to agree with them or be ok with their actions, they just need to know that their feelings were accepted. Then they're more willing to accept the limits we set for them.
- When we give our children instant advice and solutions, we're keeping them from the experience of figuring out their own problems. They end up growing up not trusting their own perceptions and constantly relying on others.
- "One of the built-in frustrations of parenthood is the daily struggle to get our children to behave in ways that are acceptable to us and to society. This can be maddening, uphill work. The more intense we become, the more actively they seem to resist" (p.49). Parents need to help their children deal with their negative feelings, however parents themselves need to learn how to deal with their own negative feelings too and figure out why their kids are responding the way they are.
I've still got some more to read, but I will definitely be reporting back to you all soon! Have a great night! :)